Francisco is officially 4 years old today and it has me reflecting on how he came to be part of our family. I don't normally share his story; it's his and he doesn't know it. As his mother it breaks my heart to think about it, but I feel it's a story of hope and of faith and of perseverance in the face of uncertainty. I hope that as he comes to understand his story he appreciates the sacrifices that were made so that he can be who he is today. I cannot imagine being in her situation and having to decide to walk away. It was the right decision and while I used to get angry when I thought about the person she was now I can only hope that she knows her son is loved and that he has a bright future. His future looked so dim when he was born. This is what we were told... no prenatal care, potential hydrocephalus, in utero stroke, suffering from hypothermia when he arrived at the hospital not to mention many other things about the condition of his mother. He suffered many delays in his first year. He was labeled as special needs and would have a harder time finding a family.
I received our monthly update from the agency we were using to help us with our adoption. At the end of the email there was a picture of an 15 month old little boy. My heart melted. I had seen so many pictures of waiting children and while they were all cute none of them made me feel that I had to pick up the phone. Francisco was different. I saw him and he was already my son. I knew nothing about his potential conditions but something told me he was healthy and happy. We were not approved for a special needs child. It never crossed my mind that it would be the path I was lead down. I called the agency and they told me that they had offered him to another family. They would send me information on him if the other family chose not to adopt him. I waited and contemplated the possibility that the child in the picture, that I knew in my heart was my son may go to another family. A few days later I received the call that the family had too many reservations and that they had chosen not to adopt him. My heart raced. What do I do???? We called a couple of our Doctor friends and discussed his symptoms and they put our minds at ease. "It doesn't sound like hydrocephalus". I was happy to hear it. We had two neurologists in Colombia check him out.... Confirmed no medical needs!!! Game on! A few months later I was in Colombia completing my family. I like to think that giving Franc a family for his birthday was the best gift he could receive, but honestly it is THE BEST GIFT I COULD RECEIVE. I am not a religious person by any means but I do believe in fate. Francisco was meant to be ours. I cannot imagine if Chris and I had decided not to move forward with the adoption, if our gut instinct hadn't kicked in to tell us that it would all work out. These are things that I don't think of on a regular basis, but when I see him now with the world at his finger tips I am amazed. He has no delays and a bright future with a family who adores him and that is when I realize things are as they should be.
I often forget how my children were brought into this world. Neither of them were born in a hospital with proper care. Their mothers were either financially or mentally unable to care for them: unable to read and write. I have done much soul searching over the last few years and this is what I have come to appreciate and I hope that I can instill it in my children... While we are not always born into the family we are meant to be with we must appreciate the sacrifices our birth families have made for us. If Gage's mom didn't recognize the fact that she could not raise him the way she would want to he wouldn't be mine. If Franc's mom hadn't walked away we wouldn't be the same. My family is very special and unique yet very common in so many ways. With that I thank both Gage's and Franc's birth mothers for the gifts they have given us. Your children do know the love you gave them and the sacrifices you made for their future. I hope you find peace with the decisions you've made and please know that your boys are very well loved.
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